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It took me three days.

Three days. Three school runs. And then I wanted to cry.

For the past two days (Fri/Mon) Liam has been home, and until today when I had to do it on my own for the very first time, I haven’t felt that wave of emotion. I think having the extra support beside me has helped this transition so far, but being alone and walking out of that playground this morning, the feels hit me. Hard. I had to talk to Scout’s teacher, which was fine, but I really had to swallow down the tears as I made my exit. 

Little boy in his school uniform.

Scout couldn’t give two hoots. Somehow my 7lb 13oz baby boy is now a confident 4 year old who happily bounds through the door, puts his book bag in his drawer and runs to sit on the carpet without having to be told. 

So I guess you could say that today was the day, that I realised this transition is going to be harder on me, than him. Last night I had written a long list of to do’s for the day, but in reality, all I’ve done is wallow and feel lonely. I have done zero of the things I wanted to do. 

Please tell me I’m not alone in the way that I’m feeling. I know things are going to change again once Lumi makes her entrance into the world, but for now, I don’t even know what to do with all my free time! 

I guess I’ll get working on some new Mother Lode designs…

Fancy catching up with our latest weekly whilst you’re here?
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Welcome to Mother Lode UK

Welcome to Mother Lode UK

So here it is, the very first Mother Lode UK blog post.

If you don’t know me, hey! I’m Sam. I’m a 28 year old, mama of one. (soon to be two.) My little boy, Scout is 4 and we live in Crewe with his dad, Liam. I started blogging waaaaay back in the day when blogging was new and fresh. Blogging began as a way to fill my lonely days at home, as I was dealing with my newly diagnosed depression, and I wanted a way to talk to people and not actually have to leave the house. It worked. I began feeling better, more confident; I even started leaving the house and making friends. Unfortunately, I lost my way with blogging after Scout was born, a few years later. I felt the pressure to be perfectly primped and polished, and let’s face it, I was covered in baby vom 85% of the time and I never had time to put makeup on.

Unfortunately, last year I struggled with my depression again. Being a stay at home mum is hard, but losing interest in your hobbies that you once loved and wanted to make a career out of is harder. That’s when I launch ‘Shop The Mother Lode.’ At first, it was a place for me to create and sell items of clothing that I felt represented the frazzled mum; the non ‘insta mum.’ But recently, I’ve felt the blogging bug again; not for views or readers, but for the outlet that this once started as.

So I guess here we are, I’m making a come back; albeit a very small one; whilst expanding ‘Shop The Mother Lode’ and creating ‘Mother Lode UK.’  I want this to become a space where mums can come and relate to one another, to moan and whine about their kids without judgement. I’d love to share posts and videos from parents who don’t necessarily blog themselves, but maybe one day just want to rant out a post and get some feedback; to know that they aren’t alone. Personally, I don’t know what I’m going to be writing about at this point. I’ll probably be sharing life things; days outs, meals I love to cook, tips and tricks on how to cope with a very demanding school kid and newborn. 

I’m excited to hop back into the (now very large) world of blogging, and this time I’m ok with being a very small fish in a very large sea. I may not post incredibly regularly to begin with, so please bear with me on that, but I promise this time it won’t be months and months before you see something new from me.